A few recent thoughts.

I. I am in Yoga class, with my head and left shoulder awkwardly tucked under my hip. As I try to un-contort, I lose control, and my face very nearly collides with the crotch of my instructor, who happens to be walking by my mat. “That could have been so unfortunate.” I thought. And then, “There should be a line of racy Yoga-clothing called Kiss My Asana.”

II.  “Phenylketonuria” is only worth 28 points in Scrabble. I found out today that they make Scrabble boards in various languages, and, contrary to my expectations, the German Scrabble board is not roughly four times longer than the English edition. In the Swedish edition, that O with the slash through it is worth five points.

III. Speaking of Scandinavia, Yahoo.com claims that Denmark is the happiest country in the world. Surprising, considering how close it is to Germany. This must explain why I have never met a Danish immigrant in my entire life. (I picture Hans Christian Anderson petting Marmaduke and eating a pastry.)

IV. I just found out yesterday that the girl who sat next to me every day in Spanish last semester was Miss Telemundo 2005. She is also astoundingly articulate and probably a foot taller than me. God must give with both hands, but clearly not to all of us. I feel so pasty. Pálida, rather.

V. I tried to coin a new slang term: “Lent Filter”– altering one’s behavior, habits and speech based on what they’ve given up. It’s not catching on. Most of my friends are agnostic. Or Jewish.

VI. Donald Duck is a horrible role model for children. He sounds like a chain smoker and never wears pants. Think about it.